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Her mother held her head while the ghetto gag gagged Passion Rose in an interview.
Passion Rose aka Ghetto Gagger is a web star known for her adult scenes and actions.
She has been involved as a ghetto gagger for some time, but it was only her recent interview that got fans on social media going wild.
Many people even criticized it as a generational humiliation when Passion’s own mother helped her while she got male genital discharge on her face.
This incent is quickly spreading the media and here is everything you need to know about the incent and ghetto lady Passion Rose.
Interview: Who is Passion Rose Ghetto?
Ghettolady Passion Rose featured in the interview is an adult web star who engages in oral sex.
She is a ghetto gagger, which apparently means an underprivileged black woman who performs oral sex and gags on male genitals, according to Urban Dictionary.
In the published interview video, she is asked questions about her involvement in the adult industry and her mother’s support.
Rose seems to be a newcomer in the porn industry and she’s on her way to a higher level since she’s starting from the ghetto gaggers according to the interview.
After talking to Passion and her mother sitting behind her and holding her head, the adult scene begins with a man squirting his genital discharge on her face and it continues.
Who Is Passion Rose Ghetto Mother? Family Details
Passion Rose’s mother also appears in the interview with Ghetto Gaggers while her entity is not revealed.
After talking to the lady, the cameraman also asks Rose’s mother questions about how she saw her daughter in such scenes.
In response, her mother says she supports her daughter’s decision and will continue to do so.
This reaction is not well received by the public as they dislike the fact that Passion’s own mother is helping her daughter while she is being sexually humiliated.
The ghetto lady also talks about how her mother is her biggest support, but people dn’t expect to see the support during sexual contact.
Additionally, no information about the other family members or their entities was revealed in the interview.
OK. Just seen on FB:
“Interview with Passion Rose and her mother in ghetto gagsThe mother herself holds the daughter’s head”
First…
— BIG BOSS DUCK? (@duckydynamo) November 8, 2021
Passion Rose Age And Wikipedia
Judging by her looks, adult ghetto web star Passion Rose seems to be around 20-30 years old.
She appears young and full of youth, although her exact age and date of birth are not known to the media.
She’s not actually a well-known adult actress, but it’s her interview that got her attention.
Likewise, no Wikipedia biography and other personal details about the lady can be found on the internet.
#Passion Rose and Her Momma Interview With Ghetto Gaggers
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Who Is Passion Rose Ghetto? Age And Family Life Explored
Her mother held her head as the Ghetto gagger Passion Rose gags in an interview.Passion Rose aka Ghetto Gagger is a web star who is known for her adult.
Source: www.xyz.ng
Date Published: 4/19/2022
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WhatElseMore Twitter – Watch Ghetto Gaggers Passion Rose …
She has been involved as a ghetto gagger for some time now but it is her recent interview that got the fans raging on social media. The ghetto …
Source: viral35.com
Date Published: 8/1/2021
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Parenthood and the Holocaust – Yad Vashem
Anat told a life story that began with her memories from the age of three, when her mother h her in a cellar in the Warsaw Ghetto. Her mother, who was in the …
Source: www.yadvashem.org
Date Published: 5/15/2021
View: 711
Animation Age Ghetto – TV Tropes
Every time an animated film is successful, you have to read all over again about how animation isn’t ‘just for children’ but ‘for the whole family,’ and ‘even …
Source: tvtropes.org
Date Published: 9/3/2021
View: 7911
WhatElseMore Twitter – Watch Ghetto Gaggers Passion Rose Video
WhatElseMore Twitter Leaked Ghetto Gaggers Passion Rose Video is going viral on social media, especially, on Twitter these days. The full ID name is WhatElseMore Twitter. People often look for this person.
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Who is Passion Rose and what are Ghetto Gaggers?
Passion Rose aka Ghetto Gagger is a web star known for her adult scenes and actions.
He has long been involved as a ghetto gagger but it was his recent interview that angered fans on social media.
The ghetto lady Passion Rose seen in the interview is an adult web star making oral sexual contact.
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She is a ghetto gagger who appears to mean an unfortunate black woman who performs oral sex and ejaculates, according to the Urban Dictionary.
If you guess from her looks, the age of ghetto adult web star Passion Rose seems to be in the 20-30 year old.
He looks young and full of youth even though his exact age and date of birth details are not known in the media.
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Parenthood and the Holocaust
Abstract
Families are social systems that both develop and perpetuate the value system and socialization process for its young members within the society in which they live. Therefore, it is no coincidence that when the Nazis planned the total extermination of the Jews, they focused their attack on the discontinuation of the Jewish family support system. In light of their extreme (and often-successful) efforts, it is remarkable to discover how Jewish families, or the rest of the families, fought in the ghettos, in the camps, in hiding and among the Partisans, these pressures. Parenting during the Holocaust is the story of what people transmitted to their children under the most extreme circumstances, and how children who survived the war developed their own concepts of parenting from in the absence or pieces and pieces in which they were left. Clearly, the difference is as large as in any diverse population, and not everything sent has only a positive value. This paper focuses on various aspects of parenting and their long -term consequences and is based on analyzes of interviews and testimonies of Holocaust survivors and their children and grandchildren.
Introduction
The “success” of Nazism is often measured by the damage inflicted on the battlefield and by the extinction of Jews and other groups that “threatened” pure Aryan blood. This paper focuses on a deeper impact of their actions, one that the Nazis themselves probably did not expect. The focus of this study is on the emotional capacity of Jewish families who have undergone Nazi attack and destruction, as well as on the ongoing long-term deterioration of emotional relationships within the families of their victims. survived the persecution. This disability has not only affected them, but also their children and grandchildren.
To assess the consequences of Nazi persecution on the families of both victims and perpetrators, we need to start with the concept of parenting. Parenting has many roles; this includes relying on caring for the physical, economic, social and psychological needs of children, until they are old enough to take care of themselves. Today, we recognize that many of these needs go beyond adolescence. Furthermore, the amount of time a child cares for a child, and the types of care (e.g. economic vs. psychological) may differ within and between cultures. For example, in Western societies although we generally expect that children between the ages of eighteen and twenty -one will be formally independent of their parents, we often find that parents (and children) are not yet ready to completely “liberate” the emotional for many years. after this age.
What happens when parents ’abilities are severely damaged, due to an external major destruction, such as the Holocaust? During the Holocaust, in a sudden way, the familiar plot of life was disrupted. Hundreds of thousands of families cannot continue to function as before within their homes, living as they used to, according to their traditions and socioeconomic status. With little early warning – most of which was ignored – the families were forcibly evacuated by the Nazis and sent to ghettos and camps. Many people were immediately killed and many others were forced into cruel conditions of hunger, disease and hard labor. How do parents and children survive, physically and emotionally? Did they succeed in maintaining parenting expectations, and if so, how? How did the feeling of disability in parenting influence the establishment of new parenting by post -Holocaust survivors? These issues will be the focus of the current inquiry.
The idea for this study came from three sources:
Results from psychological studies that, on the whole, emphasize the problematic interpersonal relationships found between survivors and their children.A nine -hour interview with a child survivor – who we’ll call Anat – that reveals the unique story of life and rebuilding the couple’s relationship during the war. This interview leads us to the issue of parenting during and after the Holocaust.
Global reviews (Rosenthal, 1993) of interviews from Ben Gurion University and testimonials from Yad Vashem related to the concept of parenting.
Before taking a closer look at Anat’s story, we will review some of the key findings of traditional psychological literature on the parent -child relationship with the families of Holocaust survivors. We will present a new comprehensive approach – a psychodynamic approach to context of the history we used when we began to look at the question of parenting during and after the Holocaust. After that, we will return to the key themes about parenting that emerged in our global review of interviews with survivors and testimonies of Yad Vashem survivors. We see our work as a first step towards a deeper inquiry that will follow and look at the different historical and current social contexts in which these themes have occurred and evolved. We hope that these reviews will not only provide insight into the elements of parenting that were salient during the Holocaust, but also provide a view of where post-war parenting of survivors took place.
The Psychological Literature Concerning Interpersonal Relationships In The Families Of Survivors
Traditional psychological and psychodynamic research has focused on parenting after the Holocaust. For example, this literature suggests that many survivors, in their desire to rebuild their family life soon after the war, entered into loveless “marriages of despair” ( Danieli, 1988). As a rule, these survivors remained married even though they did not have the emotional resources necessary for the development of intimacy (Charny, 1992; Danieli, 1988; Davidson, 1980; Freyburg, 1980) which may have been difficult for to surviving parents. to give proper care to their own children. Many parents who survived the war were found to be emotionally unavailable to the emotional needs of their children (Krystal, 1968; Wardi, 1990), perhaps because of a connection between care problems and their absence. of the ability to mourn their dead (Kestenberg, 1972, 1980). Preoccupied with the issue of life and death, these parents often suffer from self-loathing and worthlessness. When these feelings remained unchanged, they prevented the formation of a positive self -image in their children – one of the signs of caring.
Studies looking at communication styles within survivors ’families found two main patterns. Some survivor-parents may have over-exposed their children to their horror stories, or alternatively, have been meaninglessly silent about their experiences, while using communication styles with their children that causes guilt, non-verbal and indirect means (Davidson, 1980; Greenblatt, 1978; Hass, 1995; Rakoff, 1966; Robinson & Winnik, 1981; Solomon, 1998). These types of communication often frighten children (Bar-On et al., 1998), leading them to engage in frightening fantasies, or develop other disturbing psychological states (Baracos & Baracos , 1973; Davidson, 1980; Fishbane, 1979; Lichtman, 1983). Through these communication patterns, parents transmit their own traumas to their children (Wardi, 1990).
Sometimes survivor-parents send mixed messages to their children. For example, children are simultaneously told that it is important to enjoy life, while constantly mourning the dead (Kestenberg, 1972,1980) or to strive for the attainment of personal material wealth, while giving- where human values (Bar-On et al., 1998). Other survivor parents criticize their children, while telling them that they are the survivor’s only reason to survive (Roden & Roden, 1980).In some cases, children get the message that they need to always remember the past, while their parents refuse to talk about it (Bar-On et al., 1998; Hass, 1995).
Some survivor-parents have been found to project their own aggressive fantasies on their children, so they are unaware that they are encouraged to be overly aggressive (Baracos, 1970; Baracos & Baracos, 1973; Krystal, 1968). Similarly, many parents transmit their distrust of the external environment to their children, which instills in them a fear of people outside their family (Danieli, 1988; Lifton, 1988).
Survivor-parents also showed a tendency to be overly involved in their children’s lives. This has been demonstrated by parents who try to force their child to adapt to a certain mode (Sonnenberg, 1974) or even high achievers (Rose, 1983; Trossman, 1968). Research has found that survivor-parents are often overly sensitive and anxious about their children’s behavior (Sigal & Rakoff, 1971; Sonnenberg, 1974) and overprotect them, until they lose their breath (Baracos & Baracos , 1973; Nadler, Kav- Venaki & Gleitman, 1985; Trossman, 1968). This behavior makes it difficult for their children to become autonomous, and if a child succeeds in separation, he or she is often seen as infidelity or family abandonment (Danieli, 1988; Davidson, 1980; Freyburg, 1980; Krystal, 1968; Shoshan, 1989; Zilberfein, 1995) .It has been suggested that the reason for this excessive involvement is due to the extreme feeling of the survivors that their children exist to replace everything that is excruciating. and lost (Kestenberg, 1972; 1980; Klein & Kogan, 1986; Roden & Roden, 1980; Trossman, 1968; Wardi, 1990).
We find that much of the psychodynamic literature about survivors ’parenting abilities is relatively obscure. However, this conclusion is not generally shared and is sometimes explicitly criticized as primarily based on clinical samples (Bar-On, 1995). For example, studies conducted by Zlotogorski (1983, 1985), Furshpan (1986) and Sigal and Weinfeld (1989) – in which the children of Holocaust survivors were compared to the children of non -survivors – were refers to the diversity of interpersonal relationships among Holocaust families. Furthermore, recent literature on the long-term effects of the Holocaust on three generations (Bar-On, 1995; Chaitin, 2000a) has shown that while problems often exist between survivor and child, there is also a clear signs of strong, positive interpersonal relationships. between survivorchild, child-grandchild, and survivor-grandchild. Today, more historically and socially focused scholars are asserting that survivors had parenting problems not only because of the irreversible “damage” sustained during the Holocaust, but because of social-cultural factors. message that survivors experienced when they moved to their new countries after the war. Perhaps the strongest metamessage is the conspiracy of silence (Danieli, 1981), a social norm that prevents survivors from speaking publicly about their experiences. In general, however, most literature looking at parenting after the Holocaust tends to paint a somewhat sad picture of survivors ’ability to give their own children a“ normal ”family life. Perhaps, therefore, it is important to suggest a different perspective that will test parenting analysis before, during and after the Holocaust. This suggested perspective, the basis of our work, helped us re -evaluate an interview conducted with a child – a survivor who experienced and produced a positive parenting experience during the Holocaust.
A Historically Contextualized Psychodynamic View on the Value and Analysis of Testimonies
Holocaust research has resulted in the division of humanity into categories of survivors, bystanders, perpetrators and rescuers. Furthermore, it defines individuals as belonging to particular generations, such as first, second and third generations, within each of these categories. The Holocaust also adopted separate views on the discipline.Holocaust-related questions are largely addressed by two main approaches: The historical-legal perspective relates to the realistic basis of what happened during the Holocaust, and in doing so, provides historical and social context. of the Holocaust. Later, decades after the war, a traditional psychoanalytical perspective began to take root, a perspective that addressed individual aspects of victimization and its effects. Although both approaches suffer (or enjoy) exclusivity with each other, because of this division, it has not been easy to discuss complex issues, such as parenting, within a comprehensive strategy.
Since we believe that a more comprehensive approach is needed to understand the complex issues that arose in the Holocaust, we would like to propose a different framework that combines historical-social and individual aspects into a historical and social psychodynamic context. approach. The need for such an integrative approach can be attributed to the changes that have taken place in the development of theory and social construction of collective memory. An integrated framework is particularly relevant to research based on countries where society has identified itself or defined victimization categories (including both the victim and the victim), specifically Israel and Germany. Using this framework, we will focus here on the issue of parenting.
The question – to what extent can we rely on testimonies when we try to learn about the Holocaust – has been discussed extensively, especially within the historical discipline (Guttman, 1990; Friedlander, 1992). This discussion focuses on the question of validity: Can we trust testimonies in terms of proving what happened there and then? We know how memories can destroy historical facts (Spence, 1980) .The dominant trend that has developed in relation to Holocaust testimonies is the pragmatic one: When there are no documents or other more reliable sources, one who used testimonies, albeit reluctantly (Bauer, 1982; Bankier, 2000). This reluctance can be seen in cases where the interviewers are not ready or actually hear what their interviewees are trying to tell them (Langer, 1991).
The opposite approach, often associated with post-modernism, states that “facts” are not what matters, but rather the reconstruction of these facts in the human mind. In other words, this is what people do with the “facts” that bear fruit in their lives. Therefore, this reconstruction and significance is more accurate than what actually happened to them (Ram, 1995; La Capra, 1994).
These two approaches are often presented as mutually exclusive (Bar-On, 1999). Most of the psychodynamic literature mentioned above, which is heavily focused on the individual, reinforces mutual exclusivity, as it does not relate to the question of historical facts (Spence, 1980). In a way, this division has allowed historians to deal with historical facts, creating space for psychologists to focus only on the impact of events on individuals and their families (Bar-On, 1999). .
We want to present here a more comprehensive approach that attempts to combine historical facts, the psychological impact on the people involved and the social context in which these facts are reconstructed and deconstructed over and over again. If we look at parenting, we can see that it had different historical, social and cultural meanings in the thirties in Europe, depending on the context (Ofer, 1998). It is not easy to compare the concept of parenting in poor religious families in Poland with the secularly prosperous Jewish families in France or Germany. These families, in turn, are very different from the notion of parenting in modern-day Israel, which must also take into account, for example, the differences between secular European Jews and traditional families originating in the North. Africa or Asia.The Nazis set a destiny and context for all Jews, regardless of their diverse social and cultural backgrounds, by trying to eradicate their physical and psychological existence. However, if one wants to understand how families and individuals, coming from different social and historical backgrounds, have coped with external attacks on their existence, the originally separate characteristics must be considered. In addition, to understand post -war parenting, we must include in our analyzes the Israeli political and social context (or otherwise) in which the survivors lived, and the dynamics of Israeli society that took place over the years and generations. It is only within such a comprehensive approach that we can follow personal definitions, while examining the reconstruction of past events in the memories of survivors, regarding the social phenomena of parenting during and after the Holocaust.
By approaching the concept of parenting from this comprehensive approach, we find the existing psychological literature, which is individual and family -focused, that often ignores social and historical contextualization. We assume that the contextualizations of parenting during the war are important and can be inferred from the testimonies of survivors.
We decided to begin our journey by reading testimonies and interviews, using combined methods of global analysis, abduction (Rosenthal, 1993) and grounded theory (Glaser & Strauss, 1967). Together, with the help of three of our students, we read interviews looking for salient themes that emerged when biographers discussed their family experiences before, during and/or after the Holocaust. As we read, and re -read the interviews, we raised hypotheses about the respondents ’perspectives on their family life and on parenting, based on their presentation of parents and self. We also look at the ways in which they were influenced by their traumatic experiences, when child survivors became parents themselves, or when they reflected on their parents, in the case of children and grandchildren (if they will discuss these issues). Through these methods we have identified the common themes and issues that will be presented here. We know that this is just the beginning of a much longer process, in which the characteristics of a particular historical and culturally diverse context need to be introduced. Furthermore, we are also aware of the need to consider the changing current social and political context in which these testimonies and interviews were made.Therefore, we assume that the common themes we have identified are an important starting point in this long path to come. Therefore, we would like to emphasize that the present paper is only a starting point and should not be viewed as conclusive in any way.
We will begin our presentation with an interview with Anat that began our journey into the concept of parenting during the Holocaust. After analyzing the interview, we looked at approximately 60 biographical interviews conducted with survivors and their families at Ben-Gurion University since 1990 and approximately 95 testimonies gathered from the Yad Vashem archive in autumn semester of 1999-2000. We conducted global reviews (Rosenthal, 1993) on these interviews and testimonies that led to the identification of the themes presented in the following chapters. It is important to emphasize that the testimonies and interviews are not specifically focused on the question of family relationships or parenting, but on the story of life in general or on life experiences before, during and after the Holocaust. Therefore, what the interviewees said about parenting and family can be seen as representing their spontaneous need to discuss these aspects. There is a discrepancy between the sampling of interviews at Ben Gurion University, which is a randomized sample of survivors, and the testimonies of Yad Vashem selected based on key words associated with family memories (see footnote #3 ).This distinction becomes clear when we discuss interviews with second -generation members; where family relationships related to the Holocaust background are one of the centers of these interviews.
Anat’s Story – A Different Perspective
The overall sad picture outlined in traditional psychodynamic literature does not match Anat’s memories of his relationship with his mother during the Holocaust. Anat told a life story that began in his memories from the age of three, when his mother hid him in a cellar in the Warsaw Ghetto. His mother, who was underground, had the job of smuggling young Jews out of the ghetto, putting them in foster homes in the Aryan sections of Warsaw. Anat’s story is unusual because it contains many details of the child’s emotional memories that he remembers from an early age and narrated to us. When we reviewed the interview, we asked ourselves if the detailed emotional memories were related to Anat’s mother’s way of caring for her child’s emotional as well as physical needs.
We know that Anat and his parents came from a rich family background, partly secular and professional, partly orthodox. From Anat’s story, we can conclude that his mother was well integrated into the Aryan society of Poland. Although Anat’s mother died nearly 50 years ago, shortly after their arrival in Israel, Anat continues to refer to his mother as if she were still alive, accompanying her wherever she goes.
The special relationship formed between daughter and mother appears to have protected Anat in all of his experiences during and after the Holocaust. Despite the fears and bad events that befell him, Anat grew up with a kind of certainty that he knew what to expect from people “like his mother” and what not to expect from others ”who not like him. ” Perhaps, Anat is lucky enough or has the ability to interact and find the ‘right’ people who will protect him and help him move forward.
Looking at the interview, one might ask: How did Anat’s mother gain the wisdom, love and courage, under the most difficult circumstances, to do what Anat told us? How did her mother’s behavior affect Anat’s own choices, when she got married and became a mother in her own right? To what extent is this story representative of what happened at that time between the other victims and their children? Since these questions have not been addressed in the literature, we believe they still need to be answered.
Reviews of historical documentation and oral testimony have suggested that during the Holocaust, many of the victims were unable to take care of the physical needs of their descendants (e.g. Auerhahn & Laub, 1998; Friedlander, 1979; Gutman, 1990; Langer. , 1990). Furthermore, they usually have to sacrifice the emotional needs of the latter first (assuming they knew these needs before the Holocaust) to ensure their physical safety. In addition, it is important to recognize that until after World War II, there was no accepted educational or psychological theory of the family as to what was important, in terms of emotional needs and safety, and how emotional safety was. life is both different and fits in with physical safety. .The breakdown of the family, due to the external events of the Holocaust, made it impossible for parents to take care of their children, first of all emotionally and sometimes also physically.
The emotional emptiness and disruption created by the sequence of extreme violence and humiliation (which, in some cases, began even before the extermination process itself), has created an “art” of physical safety that can be managed. under the most extreme conditions. This safety is often achieved at the cost of total emotional blocking. After the Holocaust, this blockade was very difficult to soften and operate due to the fact that the processes of physical reconstruction and security building required enormous strength and long sequences of time.The traditional psychodynamic approach suggested that many of the emotional disabilities and conflicts were not overcome by post -war survivors. Sometimes, they get even worse. Survivors often ask themselves: Why did I survive and not my sister or parents? What does this say about me if I stayed alive and they didn’t (Levi, 1988)? This intense anxiety, combined with the judgmental approach and calming of society in general, helped maintain and intensify the emotional blockade that was rooted in the Holocaust (Bar-On, 1995).
In light of this massive handicap, Anat’s story (shown in the section below) seems like a miracle. There are several possible explanations about how survivors like him have succeeded in re -creating some sort of physical and emotional balance. First, these families likely had positive experiences of economic stability and emotional bonding before the Holocaust. These previous experiences helped the survivors understand what to look for, thus, allowing them to choose the “right” person – in cases where they had the opportunity to do so – when external events began to destroy the their family existence. Second, people like Anat were probably fortunate enough to go through the extreme conditions of the Holocaust accompanied by at least one family member with whom they had a good emotional connection prior to the traumatic experiences. It could be a parent, a sibling, or another parental figure who continues to provide the necessary good emotional connection. Third, sometimes even those who oppress them, for various reasons, keep the victims safe. Sometimes, an emotional connection that can help maintain some sort of emotional life for the survivor is accompanied by this action. Being protected occurs through friendship, or some other form of emotional bonding, and can facilitate the experience of living in a camp or ghetto by lending it some emotional positive significance.
In some cases, positive emotional bonding is illegitimate and is accompanied by negative feelings of guilt or moral judgment. For example, there is a reported case of Dvora being “father’s daughter” (Bar-On, 1995). When the Gestapo arrested his father following the siege of Paris (he would never return), he became the “black sheep” of his family. Dvora’s mother (divorced her husband shortly before these events) and her brother mocked her and humiliated her, because of her close relationship with her father. In this case, as in others, emotional survival is often connected to an intense internal emotional conflict. However, once extreme conditions were replaced by a normal physical existence, new relationships allowed the resurrection of memories of positive previous experiences. In addition, through therapy, the conflict can be gradually resolved and resolved (Bar-On, 1995).
Because of the complexity involved in resolving past trauma, physical and emotional needs are often found to conflict with each other. This is especially true in the case of the generation born shortly after the war. As mentioned above, during this period, when the extent and end of the disappearance became clear, many survivors married into Displaced Person (DP) camps out of despair. Although, on the one hand, there is an urgent need to recreate a home and a family, on the other hand, it is often at the expense of emotional care, handling and working. Let’s now listen to Anat’s voice before we continue our analysis.
My Mother and I: Anat’s Narration
“… A few years ago, it became clear to me that I could talk about children’s embroidery… I was young when I started embroidering, in the cellar where my mother hid me in the Warsaw Ghetto, while she was smuggling children back then. of the ghetto. My mother taught me, I was three years old and she didn’t teach me to embroider … I know the way she embroidered … I didn’t see her embroidery, and I also didn’t see what she did …Then, I will show (you) a doll he made for me then… And I thought to myself: embroidery in Judaism, not just Shabbat covers and tallith bags … what people use for praying and fulfilling mitzvoth. .. I am not a religious person whatsoever and I have… very strong opposition to religion. I think religion clogs people’s brains … I have religious embroidery students … and they tell me I’m not a religious person. And I always ask them “why?” Then they will say: “Because you think you are a religious person”. So, I asked them: “But what is (my way) of thinking?” … they tell me: “… You believe in a kind of superior force, and that is being a religious person”. But I don’t believe in any superior force … maybe they like that, maybe they love me a little too … so it doesn’t make sense to them that I’m not religious … I have a feeling that if someone is relying on a superior force, he will only be hurt, because there is no greater force. And if a person does not think that he really exists, maybe he (his mother) is alive … suddenly … it becomes clear that he (his mother) is alive somewhere . (She examines me with a stolen look). No, I knew he was dead, I sat next to him when he died. And it is clear to me that he died … but his spirit has lived in me all these years. He came with me to Israel, and two weeks after we arrived, he died at my aunt’s (her brother’s) house. Because he came (here) after he went through very hard torture, really horrible things and he was just a shell … He is younger than me now … I don’t believe in powerful forces, but I feel something feeling. that my mother’s spirit dwells in me and she advises me … what I should (do) what I should not (do), and I talk to her often. I go to places and that’s where I talk to him. Don’t think I’m not crazy… I know some of those discussions were between me and myself, but I need mom, and I’ll probably miss her even if I’m 80 years old. I will always want to be with my mother … And that’s the part that … really bothers me about my children who are growing, because there is some sort of confusion between us … and it’s really hard to know, sino the parent and who. is the child. Once I am the parent and once I am the child and they are the parents … when my daughter … screams and gets angry at me. In general, he was a very gentle and thoughtful child, but sometimes he had to rebel, so at that moment, I felt like a child being driven away by his mother, a rejected and pitiful and sad and poor child, who the mother leaves. and may not come back… that’s something I can’t… control. … Now I’m 54 and I’m not succeeding in controlling that… all the attempts… and … the thoughts and voices that say “Stop it, what’s going on with you? What is this, this is your daughter growing up needing to get angry, (when) he returns from a trip, and he finds it difficult to make this transition from his friends to home … Accept him as he is. ” And I did not succeed! All the soul searching didn’t help me here … Maybe there’s … another level … that … needs to be destroyed, maybe there’s another level I haven’t reached and I don’t know it exists inside me. . I really feel like I can’t stand their anger and the feeling that they want to break up with us … because somewhere at that moment … everything is upside down! … Instead of me being the parent, I became the child they wanted to leave … In the lecture about children’s embroidery, I mentioned how my mother brought me those things, different materials. ..hiding in the ghetto. Once he brought me a few pieces of wool … he was near the German headquarters and he started playing with a dog and he took the sweater that was under him … he separated it … it had a lot of patterns and … color …. he… made small balls, each color separately. My mother washed them and gave them to me in a box … which she saw …(it) has German written with the name of a famous chocolate factory … he wrote it with coal, no pencil no pen and there is nothing to write … I have that box until now , and it reads “My embroidery and work”. I was 3 years old and he handed it to me and he said to me: “I gave you a fancy box, do you know what is written on it? It says:‘ My embroidery and work ’. And here is a needle . ” And he gave me a spoon that he made a hole in “And see what colors you have!” … all those colors … all torn and faded, and the dirt was not washed away either, but I was happy, I thought I had … a treasure. I want to talk about that in the lecture. I titled my lecture “Children’s Embroidery – An Educational Review of Embroidery”. I thought no one was talking about such a topic. Today, there are almost no children. Embroidery. I said that my mother taught me to touch needle and thread and see something with no pattern or material, to see a treasure in it… I can mark it, I can… beautiful thing from here. … (Excited), when he comes back from his outings, when he goes for a day … for two days, for three days, he leaves me something to eat like cooked cabbage … carrots, cooked potatoes, that is a feast, sometimes bread … with … dry toast. … I always wonder where he got it. How did he get it? He always laughs and says: “D Don’t ask, just eat.” He would hug me and laugh … and… say: “No need to ask, (you need to) eat”. And I thought, how did he know? And I also want to be a mother, who knows where to bring bread … she knows where and I don’t know … she will say, later on I have grown a bit and I am 7 – 8. Then she will tell me how he gets it … he often leaves Warsaw, and on the main road … he lays stones … villagers’ carts … enters Warsaw to sell … their belongings on market day … these rocks will just bump. and things will fall apart. After the wagon disappears, he will run and pick up (the things) and take (them)… he already has all sorts of procedures. Maybe he invented them and maybe not, but I got a piece of yarn that he saw hanging from a tree and he would tell me: “You can’t imagine where I found it. I was walking and suddenly I saw (it ), hanging from a tree “. I didn’t see any trees at the time, so he drew… on the floor what a tree looked like and what a flower looked like, because I didn’t see them. He would draw me on the floor what the leaves look like floating in the air … he would tell me: “Do you know what that is? Like this” (he blows). He will do it (he struck) with (my) hand. “It blows the leaf” and he will draw its movements for me on the floor, using a piece of coal. He was drawing … how a villager was sitting in a cart … and he would draw for me a group of children that he had brought out … In the lecture … I talked about how my mother brought me the materials, and when I grew up I was able to work as well. children, and in the same way I gave them clean materials. I also use cardboard for the work very aesthetic, (it is) white, as well as brown cardboard. And I let the kids embroider. I will make holes in the cardboard like my mother did for me. I asked a carpenter to make me needles out of wood. He… made needles that were not sharp and big like this and the children made very beautiful embroidery. ”
Anat had just returned from a trip to Poland excited and angry at his fellow Israeli tourists who could not relate to what they saw on his way:
“I am hurt by how we (Israelis) behave in Poland now… I… I am not crying. And whoever else is grieving, let him mourn! But, if I hate the Poles now, that won’t help my mother’s 11 siblings rise from the dead … I won’t have a mother and I won’t be able to say goodbye to her … That won’t help.For me now to go to Poland and call them sick people and shout at them (that they are) disgusting and rude and evil and stupid… will not help me. It will do the opposite. For me to do that exactly, what I don’t want them to do to me… this revenge is pointless. It has a purpose when the person wants to express his lowest emotions and this is legitimate, in my opinion. But it kind of reminds me of how a child annoys his mother … he walks behind her and annoys her, and he can’t get rid of it, he tries to move and has a little bit of humor … and he (won’t stop) that annoys him until you give him a swat in the back, that’s really… but that’s not educational, it’s… for him to express his feelings. It is allowed to get angry. One has to cry, but to keep things in proportion. He can go to Poland and say: “These poles are rubbish.” He can say this to himself, but do it with skepticism … of all the Poles, there are also people who have saved (lives), and that is certainly no small thing … I don’t know if saved do I have a child, if I only knew that the heads of my children could be exchanged in return. And I saw what they (the Nazis) did to my mother, I was 5 years old, and I stood behind a chair … and I saw what they did to her (her voice grows louder), without them knowing that she was a Jew. They thought she was a Polish woman hiding a Jew (my father) whom they caught there … I saw her eye pop out because of their beatings… ”
At this point, Anat understands that he started his story from the middle and he wants to restart it from the beginning:
… I was born in 1939 in the spring and the war broke out when I was 3 months old and my mother… was a teacher. My father is an art historian and his articles have been published… Much has been written about him, and he is greatly admired. My grandfather was a religious executioner … I have a picture of him and my grandmother. He thought that it was not enough to study with a Cheder and… that women should also study, and he… sided with him. He brought them a French teacher and a German teacher … and they learned Russian in school … one must know the languages, and … other things, not just … religious studies … (so) the kids became very educated and had … a profession. One woman is the doctor and two are the dentist. It wasn’t that easy in Poland at the time, for Jews, and more so for girls. One of the girls became a pharmacist and … my mother was a teacher. He was successful … he tried to use all the most progressive ideas about education … it was the “latest thing”. Freedom for the child and to understand a child, now there is no argument about that, but then … when the war broke out … when the order was given that the Jews needed to move to the ghetto, grandfather wanted us all to be together… grandma died, not because of the war, she just died, and one of the pharmacist brothers is already married. My mother still lives with her parents because she is not yet married. She is one of the younger sisters. The son was a doctor… the eldest, he was married and he lived separately from them. The dentist sister had immigrated to Israel a few years before… and my mother tried to convince my grandfather, that there was no need to live in the ghetto… the Germans… the army wanted the Jews to live in the ghetto… but we will not live in the ghetto. And the grandfather said: “What are you talking about? All the Jews live there. It will be the same as before.” … And he… insisted. Eventually, they all lived in the ghetto … they lived there in crowded conditions … I was 4 – 5 months or maybe more… We live in an apartment, my grandfather, my father’s mother, my mother, 2 younger brothers, Uncle Vaslek with children, and the pharmacist sister, her 2 sons, who are 11 year old twins, and I … the baby. My father, at the very beginning of the war, was taken by the Germans and taken to better conditions in prison.He wrote a lot about the architecture of synagogues and the Germans immediately arrested him, and they tried to use his knowledge … they occupied a country … and my father had to give them information … and write of the German historian all he said. to say. So the connection with us was broken. Mom knew where he was, but not exactly, because they would release him every day and send him back to prison at night … my mom joined the Jewish Polish underground in Warsaw. He was a leftist, and he worked getting children out of the ghetto. Children who are alone, there are all kinds of arrangements to take them out and arrange them in convents, there are families in the country, all kinds out of the country. My mother tried to convince my grandfather to flee from the ghetto. He would say: “I help so many people and I want to help you too. I want to save you.” And he would just say: “God will save me, God will save us all”. And my mother said: “God will save whoever saves himself”. But grandfather did not fully understand it. The mother told him: “Break your ear locks right now, and remove your skull. But he did not consent. And finally they were all taken and only me and my mother were left. And then he decided to hide me in that cellar.. He used to tell me that he would come back and then he would leave me there. Sometimes two or three days would pass and he still would not come back. But he always told me: “I promise you that I will come back “When I became a mother, (I thought) how can a man promise a child something he is not entirely certain of. I thought, maybe he did that, not just for me, but for himself as Well. That he had to come back because he promised. He couldn’t give up … he promised. Perhaps that would explain why, with great desire, he promised me that he would come back. He wanted me to tell him. that I agree with that he left. He would tell me: “There are five children, if I don’t save them the Germans will kill them. So, do you agree that I will save them?” … he would say to me: “My sweetheart, tell me that you agree”. Then I cried and shouted: “I agree …” (Anat said this in the voice of a child. Crying.) And he would go, and not come back, sometimes, for a few days … he leaves me something to do on a piece of cardboard with holes and string and I will sit down and sometimes run out of food if he does. Don’t come back … But, I know he’ll come back, and it’s like he’s always with me, even if he’s not really. When all the food he left me was gone, I was very hungry. I had no idea what to do. I would sit there in the pile of wood, and I saw two kids sitting there on the sidewalk and they were singing something to themselves in Yiddish. And the people began to give them bread. And I said: “Perhaps I will come out and sing to me and they will give me (food).” And at that moment, I felt like my mother was holding me and saying to me: “No! You can’t come out … it’s forbidden to come out”. And I didn’t go out … I was really struggling and I ate pieces of plaster on the wall. I don’t know how many hours have passed, maybe a day, maybe two. It got pretty early there and it got dark for a long time, and then I suddenly remembered that my mom had put a box on the other side. And he said: “We have to save it for a black time” … And I thought: “What is a black time? Maybe now that?” So, I’m going to open the box and there should be food there. “I tried to climb to the other pile and there was no step there so I fell and I was injured, and a piece of wood fell on me and … the box also fell, and when it fell, the top opened., and from inside the box, the worms came out! Then, I understood that there were dry pieces of toast … but the whole box was full of worms, and I ate the I made sure they couldn’t get away from me … “My mother was buried here in Jerusalem and I don’t know where her grave is. You must be asking yourself, what kind of person am I?” I don’t know where my mother’s grave is. And once, when my son asked me where he was buried …he said to me: “You don’t know where your mother is buried?” I told her: “no” “But mom, why?” So I said to him: “to me – he’s not dead. And my husband tried to help me and he said:” You know, the person who needs the grave is not the one who died, it’s the one who lives. Whoever dies is dead but whoever is still alive is the one. who needs a grave. He had to cry at the edge of the grave, to remember the deceased and to know that he goes there once a year and puts flowers there ”… that is how he explained to our son. “Mom doesn’t need it. It’s, because she’s always with mom’s mom … she’s with us here. Mom thinks about her 24 hours a day.” And my son understood it. He asked me … “And when you die, what?” I said: “When we die you will do what you want to do. I wish for you that you would go through all the stages of life’s development, that you would separate from us at the age when you should separate, and that you would not that we can live, when you can cope just grave not like me, because I did not understand and accept the fact that I do not have a mother.I am not yet at the age when it is possible to face this issue, and my whole life, from the beginning, was spent waiting for mom, this hope that mom would come and mom would bring food and mom would bring a piece of clothing, that mom would cover me. ”
Anat returns to his memories:
… Sometimes a child sits near the window. He is … resting … he falls on his side. I thought he was sleeping … He just died … then I saw a rat chewing on his leg … and I thought to myself “Hey, when I fall asleep, that’s what will happen to me … so I don’t fall .sleep. ” And I will wake myself up and I have a stick … I do not know what strength, when I think of my children. I think of my son, I can’t imagine, when he was three years old, I thought … Am I like this? I feel like I was never, really, three years old … The fear of those rats was one of the things that scared me so much. I didn’t see anyone try to peek into that storage room… I sat there and I also knew I had to hide if someone… broke the window … if I was exposed at that moment. Mother explained to me what I needed to do in such a case. “Don’t go out at any time …” And after a few days that mom didn’t come back, I was sitting in that cellar, and all of a sudden, I saw someone open the door … So I hid … in inside. coal … It was stacked in such a way that I could sit there without them noticing me. I sat down … and was I trembling with fear. And I saw a man coming down the stairs and entering the room! It was a seventeen -year -old boy, but I thought it was an old man, because he looked at me. He started calling my name, and I was even more scared and I thought how did he know my name? I didn’t say a word, I didn’t make any noise … I touched the doll … and he walked for a while and he saw nothing, and he tried to call me … he saw nothing and he left. . He climbed the stairs and closed the door. (In a soft voice) When he closed the door, I don’t know what happened to me, but I cried. I was nervous, I started to cry, not loudly, but he heard my sobbing, and he came back. I was full of fear that he would find me, I wanted to go back to the hole. But one piece of wood moved, and it dragged another, in other words there was a mess and he immediately caught me and said to me: “Why are you so much trouble for me?” I came to pick you up. Your mother sent me. “But, I did not speak … and I did not want to go with her. And she said to me:” Come here, look, I have a sack, go into the sack and I will take you. … “and I (I don’t want) at all. Then he said:” Your mother sent me …! “. I told him:” No, my mother is coming. Mom will come and pick me up. “Then he said:” Mom can’t, mom is injured. And I have come to pick you up. “(It was) three days before the ghetto uprising. I did not want to go with him, and finally he said to me:” You must come with me. I don’t know what I will do to you if you don’t come with me …get in the sack now! “But, I don’t want to … he said to me:” I’ll take you to mom today, and you’ll ask her if she sent me or not “. And that’s what it meant to me. So I said: “Good. Sige. “And he said:” … fast, we wasted enough time … “… I had to sit under (fake pieces of coal) … so he said to me:” You know how does coal behave? I told him: “No” … “It doesn’t speak, it doesn’t cry, it doesn’t make a sound … It’s just lying there … And if you have to pee, pee. It doesn’t matter … don’t talk, don’t call, don’t shout … Can I trust you? ” I told him: “Yes”. So he said: “Well, if you are … a very good child, you will see your mother soon.” … … He put me on that heel, and the sack was very dirty on the outside. from coal … And we started walking with me behind him. We walked for a very long time. I suddenly remembered that my doll had been left in the storage room! I started yelling at him: “Sir, sir” And he (said) nothing! And I started to strike him a little in the back, and he (did) nothing. (He) continued, and I started to strike him harder I saw he was not responding, I started shouting! … And he didn’t continue because I was really screaming. He went into a dark alley, opened the sack, and removed the lid, (and) said to me: “Tell me, are you crazy already? Do you want them to kill you and me ?!” Then I told her: “I don’t care! The doll is my daughter” She was called Jozia … So she told me: “Leave me alone about the dolls. Now, you are driving me crazy with those manika. I am making such a big effort … do you think, that this is so easy? ” … I said to her: “Aren’t we coming back to get my son?” Then he said to me: “Of course we’re not going. Go back, get into the sack quickly, and we’re leaving! And if you shout, you’ll see what I’ll do to you.” I got out of the sack. I threw away the charcoal … And … I shouted at him: “You are a disgusting person. Do you think a mother can leave her child forever? Don’t you ever come back for her? What kind of person are you? “That’s not acceptable … I’ll be back.” and I started walking! And he got scared and said: “Okay … let’s go back and get the doll. Get in the sack and act…” And we went and took him… he walked back… we came to a place on the Aryan side, one of the suburb of Warsaw, and had a mother who was really injured.She helped a group of children escape and they shot them and some of the children died and she was injured.But she could not walk with a bandaged arm and there was a bandage on his shoulder on the street. So he sent me to take me. And when he told him the story about the doll … he hugged him and told him: “Go back to him because you yourself are young. You should have given him slaps under him! “And I heard that. I said:” No! No! A mother can’t leave her child. “My mother cried and hugged me, and hugged me…”
Anat’s story does not end here. His whole story remains to be told. Now the doll is part of a children’s exhibit at Yad Vashem, where a video presentation of Anat runs similarly.
Parenthood Themes in Yad Vashem Testimonies and Biography Interviews
Analyzing the interview with Anat leads us to understand that his development of his relationship with his mother is unique in its depth and breadth. As we know from a lot of qualitative research, sometimes exclusion teaches us about the rule (Rosenthal, 1993). After reviewing Anat’s interview, we found out how his interview was different from so many others we had conducted and read, and as a result, on the theme of preserving emotional memories. We then sought additional common themes related to parenting in other biographical interviews and testimonies conducted with survivors at Ben-Gurion University and at Yad Vashem.
We have more testimonies of children talking about their parents, than the testimonies of parents telling us about their children’s childhood during the Holocaust.This may be related to the fact that very few parents with children during the Holocaust survived and/or gave testimonies about aspects related to their own parenting. In a sense, therefore, our information about parenting is mostly generated from the perspective of children.
In connection with the importance of different perspectives, we may cite a set of testimonies gathered in the Yale Fortunoff Archives. A mother recounted how she and her five-year-old son went home alone after being imprisoned in a work camp in Romania and their husband/father died in the camp. The mother described how they climbed the stairs to their apartment and how her son ran to her room, opened her toy cabinet, and saw all of her toys she had left before they were sent to camp. A few hours later, his son bore his own testimony, not knowing what his mother had said. In his interview, he also remembers that same day, how he went home, ran up the stairs to his room, opened the toy cabinet, and it was empty … The historian will ask – are the toys there, yes or no ? The individual – psychologist will ask: to what does the mother attribute the persistence of toys and what does the son attribute to their loss? We suggest that the difference in their two memories is unintentional and shows why such cross interviewing is important.
We reviewed a series of interviews of a mother and a daughter about their experiences during the Holocaust. In those interviews, we saw how the daughter told us in more detail about events that happened to her mother and could be related to her care and love. Her mother had less detailed memories and was more apologetic and concerned with her guilty feelings of not being an “adequate mother” (Winnicott, 1971).
Ayala, a student at Ben Gurion University, conducted a joint interview with a fellow student in 1991. They interviewed Ayala’s grandfather, his four children (including his mother – two of his siblings had already been born in Israel) and his eldest four grandchildren (including his brother). When Ayala’s mother was an infant, she was given to a Gentile patient by her grandfather, shortly before the destruction of the Antropol Ghetto in Poland. Ayala’s grandparents joined the partisans, and when they returned after the war, they had to go to court to get their son back. Through this family profile, we learned how each sibling (including Ayala’s mother) had a different perspective on past family events and how these perspectives still affect their lives today. , both in the second and also in the third generation. Therefore, it is important to note that single perspectives can be biased and it is difficult to know in which direction the bias will take until we hear different narratives of the same events.
The following themes of parenting were captured through a global review of interviews. While many other issues emerged in the interviews related to the concept of parenting, the four themes that impressed us as most salient were the following:
1) The potential for emotional memory
2) The attention of the family and the focus on caring for each other or failure to do so.
3) Idealization of parents or family units.
4) “Parental mistakes” – Difficulties in understanding parental decisions made during the Holocaust.
The potential for emotional memory
Based on analyzes of the interviews, it appears that surviving children with a close emotional relationship with a significant other before, during and after the traumatic experiences retain more vivid and emotional memories than those left behind. physically and emotionally alone. When we say vivid, we also mean different emotions – including conflicting ones – as they appear in children’s memories, under less traumatic situations (Winnicott, 1971).When we examine Anat’s narrative, for example, we see that despite the fact that he was alone for a long time in the ghetto, witnessed the severe beating of his mother and had several other traumatic experiences as a very young child, Anat also had the positive experience of his mother always coming back to him. In fact, his mother remained with him until the last day of his life. Although there were signs in Anat’s interview that he also felt anger at his mother, due to feelings of fear and rejection, these were mixed with a deep admiration and a strong sense of his mother’s protection. We are not trying to advance here that Anat’s experiences helped him become an independent person, in the regular psychological sense. It is beyond our knowledge whether such freedom can be achieved under these circumstances. However, we would like to claim that through the kind of creative interaction, love and wisdom shown by his mother, Anat maintained an emotional vitality in his memory and reconstruction of his mother, who served him in later in life, as an adult woman and as a mother.
The second example is from Olga (Bar-On, 1995: Chapter Three). Olga speaks about her anger at her Gentile father, who was still visible at the time of the interview, because of her Holocaust fears about what would happen to her if she was recognized as a Jew. However, Olga’s subjective feelings are only part of the story. It is important to acknowledge that despite his father’s fears, he was responsible for rescuing him by providing him with a safe home in the Aryan part of Warsaw while his mother and siblings remained in the ghetto to be deported. and gassed to Treblinka. Olga thought and mourned her mother for years, only expressing anger at her father. This story highlights another aspect of the complexity of parenting in those days. Olga’s anger can be interpreted as the natural reaction of a teenager whose internal family conflict (her parents ’divorce before the war) was suddenly attacked by the external events of the Holocaust. However, if Olga was not fortunate enough to have the physical protection of her Christian father, we doubt whether she remembered the feelings associated with those days or discussed them during the interview.
Yael Kedar-Levine (Bar-On, 1999: seventh chapter) talks about her interview with her father who lived through the war with her younger siblings and parents. At the time of the interview, his parents were still alive. The family first lived in hiding in Poland and then smuggled into Hungary where they were eventually caught by police and arrested. The family escaped deportation and settled in Israel after the war. For years, Yael’s father silenced the stories of his childhood during the Holocaust. When he finally interviewed her, for a university seminar, his father recounted many moments of his childhood in a very open and emotional way. It was as if he had finally been given the opportunity to reveal all that had been stored up in him for so many years until his son was mature and able to listen. For example, Yael’s father remembers how his parents and his brother sent him to buy bread when they were hiding. When the two boys passed near a cemetery, they heard that the Germans were killing Jews by shooting, and as a result of their fear, their money was dropped. Yael’s father told him that “he was more afraid of his parents than the Germans” because he had lost money for bread, and went home empty -handed.
The final example of the ability to recall intense emotional memories came from the testimony of Yad Vashem with Dov. This interview, which contains numerous references to relationships within his family, focuses primarily on his relationship with his mother. At the end of the testimony, he also told about the kind of parent he was to his own children.Although most of his memories express negative emotions, the intensity of his speech leads us to believe that the ability to worry and willingness to openly express negative emotions connected to a parent during the Holocaust shows closeness, even if the parent-child relationship is a problem. For example, when he recounted his ride, his mother and baby sister from Zagreb to Split to meet his father Dov said:
“… He told me that if I dared to speak English or open my mouth, he would break a stick on my head… and he would‘ take care ’of my bottom…” When the German soldiers entered their compartment, he recalls: “He was white, he was scared, I felt the fear that threatened us, the family was threatened and then they left …” Later, when Dov spoke about his father’s type, he connected his style of parenting in his experiences during the Holocaust:
“… I believe I am cruel, I am losing sensitivity, you went through a childhood that was not very good (I believe) difficult things are not something you have to be afraid of. I can’t stand when they (her children) are afraid of something difficult … of course, it’s a mistake, there’s no doubt it’s a wrong response … it doesn’t have to be that way, you have to be a soft person who giving kisses and hugs, I don’t know how to do that … but it’s easy for me to help in an emergency … it’s easy for me to help when the suffering is real… ”
Based on these and other examples of emotional memories, both positive and negative, we suggest that such memorized and conflicting emotions, often very difficult to remember and say, are associated with some sense of physical and emotional security that given by parents to their children. during the traumatic. Conversely, we have examples from interviews with Genia, Ze’ev and Anya (Bar-On, 1995: chapters one, two and four), three survivors alone in horrific times in the ghetto, in camps, partisans. and in hiding. These individuals have difficulty recalling emotional or conflicting memories. This suffering is not just a disadvantage for them or for us as their listeners. Perhaps more importantly, it is the loss of their grandchildren who grew up with less open emotional support, compared to the children of Anat, Olga or Yael. However, in order to form our hypothesis into an assertion, we also need to look at interviews with children.
Between these two extremes were survivors who went through the war with a family member, but showed very little emotionality in their narratives. For example, we have a testimony from Yad Vashem of Batya, a Hungarian survivor, who was sent with his entire family to Auschwitz. Batya finds it difficult to express feelings about anyone in her family. His narrative reporting style is short, ending each short sequence with “that’s all.” The second example is from Ruth, a survivor from Athens, who lost her mother and sister at Auschwitz, and lived in the war with her father hiding in the mountains. Ruth has almost no memory of this time, even though she was a teenager at the time. Ruth’s interview was often punctuated: “I can’t remember, I’m only 12…” Aside from her difficulty remembering her experiences during the war, her interview was almost emotionless. This seems to be related to the fact that as a child, Ruth had almost no contact with family members outside her nuclear family and appeared to be insulated, in general, from the outside world. It may also indicate that he did not have a very close relationship with his father before the war and during their common experiences during the Holocaust.
In sum, we can temporarily place that the expression of emotional and detailed memories may be associated with having emotional closeness to a significant other, whether it is good or problematic.
The importance of the family and the focus on caring for one another or not fulfilling itThe issue of caring (both its ups and downs) is almost a general theme in the testimonies and interviews we reviewed. We asked ourselves if this was related to the Jewish tradition of family unity or if the high level and expression of concern were just symptoms of these post-hoc interviews and testimonies. Anat told us how much he cared from his mother in the toughest times. Through Anat’s rebuilding, we learn how his mother found out what Anat’s needs were and how to address them, despite the limitations imposed by the need to hide and the dangers they faced. Anat showed us the perspective of a child (the story with the doll in the cellar, the embroidery, the making of nature in the cellar, etc.). However, as an adult, Anat was also able to critically reflect on his mother’s words when he thought of the impossible promises his mother had made (“I will always come back: How can he promise that to me?”) .
Anat never really separated from his mother. We learned that he refused to visit his mother’s grave and that he “talked” every day about his problems. Although by traditional psychoanalytic standards this behavior can be viewed as hindering the process of independence, in terms of the mother-child relationship, it is very difficult for us to judge what will happen to Anat if the “child” construction of his mother will do. failed then or disappeared afterwards. Testimonials from Yad Vashem include many references to the importance of keeping the family together no matter what happens and the focus on caring for one another or failing to do so. These issues are expressed in the testimonies given by Simon, a Czech man who survived the war with his parents and siblings. They also appeared in the testimony of Menachem, an only child, who was born in Budapest. Lili, a survivor from Balassgyarmat Hungary, presents herself as someone who spent a large part of the war helping family members cope with the war. Finally, Bobbie, Juli and Arlene – a mother and two of her Holocaust survivor daughters who lived together and lived in the camps of Majdanek, Plaszow, Bialichka and Auschwitz – also talked about these issues. for a long time. One thread, which appears to run through different stories, is the concern and the close relationship of these survivors with their families before the war began.
In Simon’s interview, for example, he mentioned the close relationship he had with his nuclear and extended family before the war saying that: “… we really had a good and happy life.” In 1942, when the family left Bratislava and moved to Nova Masto, his parents informed him of what was happening and their plans:
“… (The difficult times) did two things… it… shook our sense of safety that was under our feet, but on the other hand, father and mother always stressed that we would move on. That is, it is difficult but we will stand by it … we will do everything for you, and you can be safe with us. They also kept their promise… we always felt that… that we were in a protected position, that they worried about us… the hard times became close to us… we always felt that as long as we were together, that is the purpose of life… this has become the purpose of our life… ”
Although 11-year-old Simon and his brother were separated from their parents in Auschwitz, and later had to live alone in Birkenau and Buchenwald, Simon continued to imitate his father, caring for his younger brother according to his belief his parents wanted. he in. Simon said:
“… Of course I took care of him… when dad left it was clear that I was responsible for what would happen to us… we did everything together… we even tried to go to the bathroom together…”
Menachem, who was 14 when the Germans occupied Hungary, also talks about his activities aimed at helping his family (and others). Menachem said:“… When they heard I had a connection with the International Red Cross, they asked me to take these documents, nothing could be easier… we just wrote their names, signed by the consulate… and on my next visits (home), I brought each one. one, without exception, and I think some people and my mother among them were saved from eviction… ”
In Menachem’s case, his entire family survived the war and immigrated to Israel for three years each other in the fifties. Therefore, the family remained close not only during the war, but also after the war.
Lili’s story contains many references about how she was cared for by her parents and her four brothers and sisters before and during the war. According to Lili:
“… We grew up with a lot of love and a lot of culture… until the age of 10… 12… everything went well, later, I also felt like my parents saw bad things coming and I was small and very sensitive, tried they keep it from me, because they know they can’t give more than they give… ”
Lili appears to have learned the lesson of helping others and the message passed on to her family that the strong should help the weak. In his interview he made many references to how he cared for others. For example, after sending the family to Auschwitz, where her mother and brother were killed on arrival, Lili’s older sister contracted meningitis. Lili recalls how she got through the infirmary:
“… I stayed, the nurse left, the doctor left, they all left and I stayed in the vacant building with 12 sick women with tuberculosis and my sister was one of the women, after work I always went and help the doctor, I gave medicine … I found a potato and cooked … ”
The last example comes from the triple testimony conducted at Yad Vashem with Bobbie, the mother, and her two daughters, Juli and Arlene. For this religious family, the Holocaust began in 1938 when they were imprisoned in Germany and ended in April 1945 when the Americans freed them near Berlin. While the daughters ’interviews were almost full of praise for their“ brave ”mother, there were subtle signs of frustration with their father that“… An only son my father was extremely indulged… she is very observant… she has no ‘skills’ to start crawling … my mother … has maneuvered a bit, her background has prepared her better for it… she loves luxury, loves beauty… needed she has a maid for herself… ”
According to Juli (who was most of the speakers in the interview), the children decided that the daughters would be responsible for keeping the girls alive and that Ira, the older sister, would be responsible for keeping the girls alive. Chaim, the younger brother. . In fact, five pages of the interview focused on Juli’s memories of how her mother, Bobbie, emphasized the importance of keeping the camps clean to enhance their chances of survival. While Juli, Arlene and Bobbie were able to stay together and support each other (Juli was even sure they got three consecutive numbers in Auschwitz), when Ira fell ill in Plaszow and was placed in the infirmary, Chaim was shot. The women were afraid to tell Ira what had happened to Chaim, and waited for him to recover before they told him his fate. As Juli said:
“… He was so bitter, he cursed me, he cursed himself and he never forgave himself for not saving Chaim … it overshadowed the rest of his life … (he says) I don’t want to be responsible to anyone, so when he was married… he was very independent, they didn’t have children… (he said) I don’t want to be responsible to anyone… ”
This verse emphasizes the painful amount paid by some of the survivors for “failing” to keep other family members alive and their outlook on parenting. While the other children (who survived the war) continued to marry and have children, Ira condemned herself to a childless life, as punishment for neglecting her family.If we summarize the issue of caring for family members during the Holocaust, we see the enormous value placed on keeping the family alive. We note that care does not always extend only from parent to child, but from child to parent and from sibling to sibling. In cases where the family member believes he or she was involved in keeping another family member alive, it is often associated with the strong family ties that characterize the family before the war began. Furthermore, these individuals sent the message that their success was partly due to both personal and family strength. However, in cases where this mission “fails”, self -punishment is imposed, sometimes to the extreme point of not having children of one’s own. We don’t know if the care is just a post-hoc reconstruction, imposed on traumatic memories to make them more “humane,” or if they reflect the reality of the family’s strong commitment and commitment. mutual care that actually occurred during the traumatic. happenings. However, during testimony or interview, the notion of parenting is associated in the child survivor’s mind with the memory of caring under extreme circumstances. This is the point we want to emphasize here.
Idealization of parents
The idealization of parents was another theme that emerged in many of the interviews and testimonies. Although this may seem similar to the previous discussion of caring, it differs in the sense that idealization tries to prevent negative emotions from emerging. In this sense, therefore, idealization is closer to a defense mechanism than the two themes discussed earlier. For example, Anat expressed his mother’s idealization. She associates him with beauty, assertiveness, sensitivity and almost total strength. Anat told us, at the beginning of his interview, that he didn’t want to be a “weak and helpless girl”. She wants to be like her mother who can go in and out of the ghetto, bring bread and always know what to do. However, Anat didn’t just idealize his mother. His words also reflect an older and critical understanding of the child’s sense of his mother’s power, which is reversed by the harsh conditions Anat had to cope with. In addition, his story highlights his own extreme fear and guilt (proven, perhaps, by his belief that he may have played a part in the discovery and capture of his father by the Gestapo). Anat recalls his own skepticism (e.g., yelling at the boy who came to pick him up back in the cellar to pick up his doll). We also hear, through her voice, however, her mother’s acceptance of these activities as a normal reaction of a child to the extreme stress in which they live. Through Anat’s rebuilding, we feel the deep relationship that has formed between the couple.This dyad has endured the most severe conditions and trauma and, later, helped Anat develop strategies for selection. of people and priorities in his own life. We do not hear in his voice the need to rebel and separate from one’s parents, as is commonly expected from teenagers and young adults. Again, we believe we have no right to judge what should be considered “normal” behavior and emotional maturity under these extreme conditions.
Other evidence of the perfection of one’s parents is seen in the testimonies of Yad Vashem by Bobbie, Juli and Arlene. For example, Juli opened her testimony with this introduction from her mother:
“… I just want to introduce my mother and point out that the three of us are here thanks to her courage and thanks to her faith… the motivating force for survival is my mother… who has never lost faith and she really . courage, her story that saved not only us, her own children, but also hundreds of women… whom she infected with her faith … this is my very brave and wonderful mother… ”Bobbie’s idealized image, presented here by his son, however, explodes once in the interview. There are segments where daughters express frustration and anger. For example, Arlene expressed her anger at Bobbie for “abandoning” the children by placing them in orphanages for a while until she accumulated enough money to get them out and take care of them. Later, Juli also talks about how she became responsible for rescuing her mother from opting for gas chambers, by bothering Mengele for a while and not the other way around. The daughters seemed to feel the need to present an ideal picture of their mother, perhaps, to help them explain to themselves why their parents acted on the traumas of the Holocaust. Daughters can only imply that the mother occasionally neglected them and was unable to protect them from Nazi persecution. Interestingly, the father, who was murdered, was not portrayed in an ideal way, as evidenced by the few references made about him in the interview (e.g. “… he had no‘ skills ’to start crawling … dear her chic … needs a maid for herself… ”)
The third example is from the testimony of Yad Vashem of Nicole, a young survivor from Antwerp. From the beginning of her interview, a great deal of respect and idealization of her parents came though, especially where her mother was concerned. Here too, however, the idealization is mixed with small signs of anger, perhaps due to the feeling that Nicole felt that she was somewhat less important to her mother than her job. Nicole told us:
“… In 1933… he (my mother) returned to Germany and… he pulled his parents… he said (to them):‘ Come back now ’, somehow my mother saw the scenario, what would happen happened … and he forced his parents to come back with one of his sisters … my mother got involved in many … things … B’nei Brit … he worked on the Jewish Committee … she’s at home … but I always have an au pair … so take care of me … she’s completely focused on her job, not on being a mother, I don’t see my mother much, but when I see it … he always carries the whole world on his shoulders… ”
We can only guess how the image of a mother “carrying the whole world on her shoulders” affected Nicole’s understanding of what it means to be a parent. Perhaps, as in the case of Anat, Nicole also learned during the Holocaust that a mother’s duty is not only to her own children, but to others as well. Although Nicole also mentions her father’s courage, the mother’s story is emphasized. At the conclusion of the testimony, Nicole spoke about the impact of the past on her children:
“… For the longest time, I keep it very… quiet and not even talked about it, I don’t want the children to be oppressed … my mother was talking about the war … I didn’t want to do that’s with my kids, so they really didn’t know too much for a long time … I have a daughter who is affected … she is very involved in all that, she becomes a guide, every year she brings the yeshiva women and men in Warsaw, in all the concentration camps … he had compulsion and I think I talked more about it than I thought … I tried not to burden my children too much ”
In this verse, there is another small flaw in his mother’s idealization. Although Nicole believes that talking about the Holocaust can be “oppressive” to her children, and as a result she tries to stop doing so, she notices how “her mother talked about it.” This may be another subtle sign that although Nicole may have made her mother ideal for her actions towards other Jews, she thinks as a parent, she may not always be doing her best for the peace of mind of a child.
Based on Anat’s interview and on testimonies from Yad Vashem, we may need to question the validity of current developmental theories in light of the alternatives faced by children at the time.We must now ask whether an idealization of parenting or separation from one’s parents hinders the child’s psychological well -being. Many Holocaust survivors have not been as successful as Anat when it comes to handling such positive feelings of parenthood. However, it appears that for many of them, their parents ’idealization served as a defense mechanism that helped them, perhaps, to blame their parents without much protecting them from the horrors they had to endure. during the Holocaust. . One cannot decontextualize the question of normalcy or psychological well-being. This brings us back to the need for a psychodynamic approach in the historical context that considers specific historical and social events while discussing the psychodynamic processes of the individual or family.
“Parental mistakes” – difficulty in understanding parental decisions during the Holocaust
In many of the interviews and testimonies, the issue of understanding certain parental decisions arose. Sometimes, survivors express the notion that their parents acted strangely, or made ‘bad’ choices, thus putting themselves or other family members at risk. This is a difficult issue for survivors to articulate, as it puts their parents in a bad light. A recurring theme is about missing opportunities to escape due to parents ’“ inability ”to predict the future. For example, Olga tells us how her mother missed the opportunity to escape from the ghetto, when her husband came to rescue her and her children, because she did not want to leave her own mother. When Olga’s grandmother couldn’t get a work certificate and, as a result, she realized she had to hide to avoid deportation, she decided to commit suicide. Olga witnessed her death. Although Olga never criticizes her mother’s or grandmother’s decisions in the interview (only expressing anger at her father), we can imagine that these events had a big impact on her. Olga’s mother showed total submission to her own mother’s needs, even if it meant she could give her own life and the lives of her children, for the sake of keeping the family together. This is an example of the cruel decision that parents have to make, reminiscent of Styron’s book Sophie’s Choice (Styron, 1980).
In another interview, Anya (Bar-On, 1995) told us how her father believed that Germans were decent people who could never harm Jews. He decides to stay in his hometown in Poland telling her: “Don’t worry, we know Germans. Everything will be fine ”, although he urged Anya to flee (he was afraid the Germans would arrest him for being a Communist). Clearly, her father’s misconceptions about the Nazis weigh heavily on Anya to this day, as she is the only one in the family to survive because of its decision to evict her alone.
Batya, a Hungarian survivor who was interviewed by Yad Vashem, told an interesting story about his father’s attempt to evade work camps.
“… In ’42… he made himself‘ mad. ’He took papers for that, from the most famous professor, and he paid for it in full force. He tried to hang himself with his belt on the door. My mother did not go with him. Because he always laughs at the shows he shows, so my brother came with him … in the end, he came down because of that… ”
On the one hand, Batya seems to understand the absurdity of the situation, and realizes that her father’s actions saved her from a bad fate. On the other hand, however, we need to ask ourselves how his father’s ‘suicide attempt’ affected the way he viewed him, as a fourteen-year-old, as a parent.Does he really understand his father’s temperament? Did he think of his father as creative, crazy or effective? Although we have no answer, it is important to note that this memory stands out from the rest of his interview in which he emphasizes that: “… it was hard. Most of the times I remember… are hard times, I don’t remember the happy times for some reason… ”In our opinion, Batya had a hard time understanding her father’s actions, and, therefore, was skeptical of between looking at his father’s actions as a person. sound, on the one hand, but dangerous, on the other hand.
Moshe, who was also interviewed by Yad Vashem, was born in 1932 into a wealthy family in Yugoslavia. He also mentioned the “bad” choices his parents made, and especially his father, during the war. Moshe expressed some anger at his parents for not escaping when they had the opportunity to do so and at his father for not saving himself. After the family was placed in a ghetto, his father was taken to a camp. Moshe and his mother were allowed to periodically visit his father “… where he kind of managed the barracks along with the sick and elderly …”. Later, when the family got the wrong papers, and had a chance to escape, Moshe and his mother tried to persuade his father to join them. According to Moshe, his father said: “How can I leave these people? You go… ”and that was the last time he saw his father. At the end of the interview, Moshe said bluntly: “… our parents are not smart enough … since they were killed. In matters of money, no problem, there was an opportunity (to save ourselves)… ”In Moshe’s eyes, therefore, his parents were partly to blame for their own deaths, a fact he still seemed unable to forgive. these. .
The interview with Yitzchak, a survivor from Sarajevo, provides further evidence of the difficulty that children sometimes understand their parents ’problems with functioning and making‘ better ’decisions. As a result, parents began to look ineffective. Yitzchak repeatedly said throughout the interview that, because of the war, his parents had given up trying to parent him and that he could rely on them little by little. The following passage highlights the complexity of the situation; while Yitzchak appears to be angry with his parents for the “shock”, he can’t give a clear answer if he acted the same way if he were the parent. He says:
“… My parents, I think, have no children in the brain… we are very independent, my mother works all the time, day and night… my mother is shocked that her father was taken, and he as well as the sisters … and they killed his daughter (Yitzchak’s sister) … my mother was shocked by this whole situation … I had to manage on my own .. .my parents were shocked … when I look back, I try to imagine if I will ever act the same way with my children during the turmoil, I feel like they are crazy… ”
The last example is from an interview conducted with Brigitte, a Polish survivor. According to Brigitte, her father, who always made family decisions before the Holocaust, made all the wrong decisions during the war and lost his ability to trust his judgment. Her ‘failures’ began with her refusal to let Brigitte go with her husband to flee the USSR, and continued when she allowed her brother to go to the police station to report himself, and as a result, was eventually shot. . According to Brigitte, part of the reason for the ‘wrong’ decisions was because of her parent’s desire to protect her and because they could not share their fears with each other. Brigitte said:
“… My brother came home and told my mom and dad, they were worried… my mom fed him lunch … I felt bad about that… the tragedy was so great that we didn’t talk because we didn’t conversation. t want to worry one another … I gave him my father’s handkerchief … I didn’t say anything, we never saw him again …we have so much respect for our dad and he is so smart … we didn’t think to do anything without asking him, he already had the last word, so I thought if I would ask dad what to do (if he was going to try to run away or not), he will really know … because a father knows everything. right? So I said: ‘Daddy, what are we going to do?’… He was upset, he lost that amazing son of his, because of a mistake, because if he was smart, we wouldn’t have to let him go to jail .. .but my father said … I’m sorry to tell you, do whatever you can … don’t ask me, I don’t know how to live like this’, at that time I realized that I was -I’m just one … my father is gone … my mother is sad… ”
In Brigitte’s words we can hear how her concept of parenthood fell apart: “… in those moments I realized that I was all alone … my father was no longer a father…” It was a harsh recognition and accompanied by confusion and incompetence. At the height of the turmoil, Brigitte realizes that her father can no longer continue to function as a father, in terms of caring for his children in the best possible way. If in previous quotes we have shown examples of how people have difficulty maintaining a positive outlook on parenting, here we hear how it collapsed. From Brigitte’s testimonies and other testimonies we learn that when children felt that their parents had lost the ability to trust their instincts and decisions, it had the effect of shaking the children’s belief in their parents. This often leaves them feeling that they are completely “on their own”. This discovery led to a new perspective about their parents. Children respond with sadness and fear or the belief that their parents have become ineffective and, therefore, can no longer function like “real” parents. One must, however, be vigilant about the conclusion, since interviews and testimonies were given many years after the Holocaust. That is, when children discuss their parents ’decisions in their interviews and testimonies, and judge them as right or wrong, this is done in retrospect and based on the outcomes of those decisions and actions. this behavior (positive or negative). Now, it is difficult for us to say to what extent both decisions can be thought of as being “correct” decisions, whether they have been decisions of parents, whether the circumstances or outcomes are different.
Before leaving this theme, we would like to mention another example of “parental mistakes” that are noticeable in interviews. This is the case of parents who leave their children in foster families, or in hiding, in monasteries, convents or orphanages, when they believe that by doing so their children have more good chance to live. When children talked about these experiences, many of them expressed-overtly or covertly-feeling that it was “wrong” behavior and in doing so, their parents abandoned them. While, as adults, they can provide a rationale for why their parents made the decision to leave them to others, it is clearly an understanding that is reached at a later stage, when they are no longer children. An example of this is from the interview with Juli, Arlene and Bobbi (mentioned above), in which Juli hints at her mother’s abandonment of the children when she leaves them briefly in an orphanage. The second example is from Yad Vashem’s interview with Naomi, a child-survivor of the Warsaw ghetto, describing in a very emotional sequence how her mother brought her to live with a Christian family, recently. destroy the ghetto. hand. Although, as an adult, Naomi understands that it saved her life (her entire family was killed), it is clear that this act she still sees, on some very deep level, as abandonment. of his parents.Looking at these four salient themes that emerged in interviews and testimonies, it’s time to look at how survivors ’understanding of parenting, based on their experiences during the Holocaust, influenced the types of parent that they should do. their own children. Most of the testimonies from Yad Vashem do not include references to post -war parenting. In the next section, we will take examples from Yad Vashem’s interviews and from interviews conducted with survivors at Ben Gurion University, where they discuss their understanding of parenting after the war.
Parenting After the Holocaust
The physical and social recovery after the war of most Holocaust survivors is remarkable, although only a few of them survived the Holocaust along with most of their family members alive. Within five years, hundreds of thousands of survivors, many of whom gathered in DP camps in Germany between 1945-1948, emigrated to Israel, the United States, England, Canada, Australia and other countries to make new lives for themselves. This rapid physical, economic and social recovery was motivated by an intense desire to “normalize life” after the traumatic period they experienced in ghettos, camps or in hiding while under constant threat. of extinction. Survivors married, had children, went to work and tried to prove to themselves and others that they had succeeded in returning to normal (Bar-On, 1995).
Two main social trends can be identified. Many survivors formed their own communities, where they lived mostly with other survivors, while others tried to mingle with the new culture, almost hiding their former identity as Holocaust survivors. Even in our university seminars in the eighties, these trends can be identified in the following examples. At the first meeting, one of our students said that his parents were Holocaust survivors, but for him it was “normal.” He recalled that when he entered high school and had the opportunity to visit the homes of his new friends outside his neighborhood, he realized that one could open the curtains in the living room. Across from him sat a student who said: “I am a second generation Holocaust survivor. I don’t believe there is such an identity. I’m here to listen to what you have to say. ”
Parenting after the Holocaust was affected by the motivations of survivors to normalize life and by external social alienation and distancing (Bar-On, 1995). These two processes created what is now called the “conspiracy of silence” (Danieli, 1980) or the “double wall” phenomena (Bar-On, 1995). Often, the children of Holocaust survivors do not understand what is behind this calming wall. In addition, many of them grew up without grandparents or extended families. We hear in children recounting how they had to create family members in their imagination in order to have a more relaxed sense of family life or parenting (Guttfreund, 2000). In our understandings of post-Holocaust parenting, based on analyzes from our interviews, we saw many signs of emotional distress that represent what Holocaust survivors went through but did not succeed in dealing with. . We will examine how some of the survivors and their descendants talked about the types of their parents, and how they linked these post-war behaviors to Holocaust experiences. While in the first section we concentrate on the stories of child-survivors, here we will look at interviews with their descendants. We will ask to what extent have the interviews and testimonies provided new perspectives for our understanding of parenting in the shadow of the Holocaust?
Difficulty for survivor-parents to be available to the emotional needs of their childrenAs reported earlier in the clinical literature review, this is an issue often raised by survivor-parents in their interviews. For example, there is the case of Dov, cited above, whose testimony provides support for findings about survivor-parents ’inability to be emotionally sensitive to their children. As Dov said, she finds it difficult to be sensitive to her children, after experiencing her mother’s insensitivity to her emotional needs during the war (“… I believe I am cruel, I am losing sensitivity, you go through a childhood that is not so beautiful.… no doubt this is the wrong response… you have to be a gentle man who gives kisses and hugs, I don’t know how to do that… ”).
Conversely, when we examine the story of Anat’s life, we can imagine that his war experiences with his mother contributed to his sensitivity to the needs and feelings of his own children. This sensitivity, however, was mixed with her awareness of her difficulty in once separating her own feelings and needs from those of her daughter. As Anat told us:
“… My daughter… (who) is generally a very gentle and thoughtful child… sometimes has to rebel… at that moment I feel like… a rejected and miserable… child whose mother is leaving and may never come back… that is something I… have not succeeded in controlling … (my) voice saying “Stop this … this is your daughter who is growing up and needs to get angry … Accept her as he is. ” And I did not succeed! All the soul searching didn’t help me … I really feel like I can’t stand their anger and the feeling that they want to break up … because … at that moment … everything is turned upside down! … Instead of me being the parent, I became the child they wanted to leave… ”
Although we have no corroborating evidence from the children of Dov or Anat, we can go to interviews with other families, and see how the survivors and their descendants discussed their sensitivity to each other. isa. A good example is from Neta, a second generation woman. Neta’s mother, whose first husband was drafted into the Red Army and killed in battle, escaped with her daughter from Lvov to the USSR. Neta’s father also went through traumatic experiences – the Germans killed his first wife and baby while he was hiding in a nearby forest. Although Neta regarded her mother as an attentive, caring and caring parent, she portrayed her father as a man incapable of providing for his daughter’s emotional needs. Neta told us:
“… (my mother) really overcame it… .she’s a more optimistic type of person, full of life’s joy. He took his life, he went to work … he would take us to movies, to plays. He is full of life! And she didn’t talk about it so much … She said: ‘I won’t mourn my entire life, I will begin my life all over.’ And she (father) mourned her whole life. She hardly talks to us..she has the initiative to enjoy herself and to live. He was disturbed in the past… ”
Neta placed her parents in two categories – her mother who decided she would not “grieve for the rest of her life” and her father who was “stabbed in the past” .She connected her mother’s joy to the love and warmth she felt. he did when he was young and in the belief that his mother “surpassed” the past. At the same time, he sees his father’s retreat into his inner world as reflecting his inability to step out of the past, and as a result, he is no longer available to him as a father. It is interesting to note that the intergenerational transmission of this combination of proximity and shrinkage is shown in the Neta. Evidence of this transmission comes from two interviews made with Amnon, the son of Nethah, when he was sixteen years old and when he was twenty-five. While on the one hand, Amnon emphasized that he could always talk heart-to-heart with his mother, he was also aware of the constant pain that was always close to the surface.At this point, Amnon said:
“… My mother felt… that she had to bear the pain of the whole family on her shoulders… even though she was happy, she had to remember that grandma…
Animation Age Ghetto
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AnimationAgeGhetto
Juust in case the main character stuffs his hand into his girlfriend’s shirt and flips the bird version of England you don’t tip … remember And for some parents, still not.
Roger Ebert on on Ratatouille “This is clearly one of the best films of the year. Whenever an animated film is successful, you have to read again about how animation is not ‘just for kids’ but’ for the whole family, ‘and’ even for the elderly alone. ‘ No joke! ”
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Animation has a reputation as a pointless medium suitable especially for children, under 12 years old.
There are many sociological theories as to how and why this trope originated, but one of the most common theories is that it was a by-product of the rise of television animation in the ’50s and’ 60s where many adults were not interested in low quality. in many of them, and thus only children can tolerate it, as well as television at the time being sold as a means of appeasing children and the rise of parent groups arguing for more government regulation on content of these programs.
Once television animation became associated with children, producers of animated shows began to write to their perceived audience, making animation outside the ghetto age less profitable than animation within it. Anything deemed safe for children can be licensed for merchandise, which is virtually guaranteed to sell, producing multiple 30 -minute commercials, permitted by FCC regulations. The age ghetto paints older demographics as unprofitable.
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These days, the ghetto is not as strong as before, due to the successes of Japanese anime as well as American Animated Shock Comedy shows as South Park, Family Guy, Rick and Morty and others like The Simpsons, Bojack Horseman and Futurama, even though some of these shows rely on Vulgar Humor have led to a new misconception that all animation made for adults is an Animated Shock Comedy. Similarly, many people assume that All Anime is Naughty Tentacles.
The Internet also helped weaken the ghetto. Before Internet access spread, animated short films (which generally had mature themes) were only available at universities that addressed that particular field, but the Internet has helped many artists to publish those projects for a major audience. Similarly, anime aimed at adults has been limited to science fiction conventions and college campuses, but now has a worldwide following. However, the Internet -based ghetto tends to reach out in other ways; thanks to animation’s growing reputation as a medium for all demographics, many forum users sometimes expressed surprise that a well -written show was made just for kids or try to play Multiple Demographic Appeal to isolate it from “other” children’s shows, thanks to the ghetto stereotype that “for kids = bad writing.”
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To a small extent, the same goes with animated feature films. Yes, there are pure kiddieville movies made, but if you want to make big money in that field, you have to appeal to adults to some degree — although this applies primarily to All-CGI Cartoon movies. , because traditional 2D animation is still not taken seriously, so 2D is considered “dead” by the Western animation industry whereas 3D can serve as a compromise between animation and live action. However, animated films have yet to see the same evolution of adult-oriented material that animated TV series have, and have consequently been more affected by the ghetto, especially in pure 3D CGI Western animation.
Modern media with Black-and-White Morality is also very strongly associated with this ghetto because children generally do not understand the nuances of morality and The Moral Substitute does not provide room for any moral ambiguity. .For related tropes, check out All Animation Is Disney, Girl-Show Ghetto, Public Medium Ignorance, R-Rated Opening, The Dark Age of Animation, What Do You Mean, It’s Not for Kids ?, Comedy Ghetto and Sci Fi Ghetto. Contrast with Animated Shock Comedy and All Anime Is Naughty Tentacles.
Examples:
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Advertising
Cartoon advertising mascot Joe Camel has been the subject of heavy controversy throughout his ten-year existence, as various anti-smoking activists believe the campaign targets children. The campaign is intended only for adults, but there is real evidence that more children are knowing the Camel brand because of the ads; in any case, Camel bowed to controversy and Joe retired in 1997. In general, if a company had a cartoon mascot, it would make it more popular with children, even if their product was not for children. One of the most well-known examples is the Geico Gecko. Has been the subject of heavy controversy throughout its ten years of existence, as various anti-smoking activists believe the campaign targets children. The campaign is intended only for adults, but there is real evidence that more children are knowing the Camel brand because of the ads; in any case, Camel bowed to controversy and Joe retired in 1997. In 1989, Anthony Hopkins narrated an animated awareness film for charity, showing what happens at the annual pilot whale hunt in the Faroe Islands. Despite extremely disturbing visuals of screaming whales being beaten, eaten, and leftovers thrown ashore to rot, the film received a PG rating in Britain simply because it was a cartoon. And then, as part of a campaign to play it in front of Where the Whales Came, it was re-rated at a U. There are two versions of this advert; one has a U rating and the other has a PG rating. According to the BBFC archives, there was a difference of two seconds in running time between the two versions (the U version ran 1 minute but the PG version ran 58 seconds) and they were also released under different names; the U version was called ‘Scream’ and the PG version was called ‘Faroe Islands’.
Anime and Manga
Art
Comic Books
Comic Strips
Newspaper Comics (and Webcomics) tend to overthrow the Ghetto. No one will look at you funny for saying you regularly read the comics section. Despite this, newspaper comics should still be safe for children to read, as the comics section is the first part they read. Try telling someone you’re watching a cartoon series of a newspaper comic, though … The newspaper comic that often has problems associated with it is Doonesbury. When it runs arcs that discuss highly controversial or non-childish topics, some paper will replace that arc with reruns or move the strip to the editorial page. While webcomics typically ignore this troupe, many Web Comics readers with children will show their children some of the webcomics they read, even if the original creators didn’t intend for them to read. of children.
Eastern Animation
Many cartoons of the defunct Hungarian animation studio Pannonia are focused heavily on older audiences. Some, like the adult satirical comedy Gustavus often hold this reputation. The situation of others was different. Mézga család is a comedy for all ages, but its social satire and cultural nod are often understood by adults. Ang “Kérem a következőt!” is, on top of that, a hilarious Funny Animal show, but it’s full of Dark Comedy and more cynical satire, plus an infamous episode where the characters get high on real-life drugs. Hungarian Folk Tales looks gentle and child-friendly at first glance, and most of the episodes are perfectly suited for young children.But being true to the actual fairytales back then, some episodes deal with more passionate things, featuring fashionable violence and murder, and uncensored nudity, which allegedly led to the series ’ban on Romania and caused a stir among English -speaking viewers when the series was shared on YouTube. In the home country, the show is still aired every morning on the weekends in a children’s cartoon block, with a paradox rating of 12+ ages and no censorship.
Movies – Animation
Movies-Live-Action
Literature
Live-Action on TV
Music
Bomani Armah’s Read a Book, best described as “Anti-Krunk”, raised a bit of a stench from parents due to the harsh language and imagery displayed at BET’s Rap City and 106 & Park where fans can see it. child. Ignore videos that actually show that kind of content coming out before and after it.
, which is best described as “Anti-Krunk”, caused a bit of a stench from parents because of its harsh speech and image displayed at BET’s Rap City and 106 & Park where children can see it. Ignore videos that actually show that kind of content coming out before and after it. People brought small children to Gorillaz concerts. Not only does their music contain relatively dark and mature themes in general, but their backstory is certainly also far from child-friendly (self-proclaimed satanic bassist Murdoc Niccals is enough as a clue). A feature-length film deal with DreamWorks Animation in 2003 did not go ahead because artist/writer Jamie Hewlett wanted to make a dark and mature story about celebrity culture and the apocalypse, but he continued to be pressured by studio to keep it family -friendly.
Puppet Shows
Theater
If a Broadway show appears based on a non -Disney cartoon, animated film, or children’s book, you can expect that many people will refuse to watch it because it is based on something for children, thus resulting in closing the show.An example of this is The SpongeBob Musical, which closed after a year due to low ticket sales despite winning the Drama Desk Award and receiving glowing praise from critics. Another notable example is the Tuck Everlasting musical, which only ran a month and a half. However, this is avoided with Anastasia, who changed many plot elements from the film to make the story more realistic, and Matilda, who ran 4 years on Broadway and still runs in London.
Video Games
Web Animation
Webcomics
Original Web
Web Videos
Western Animation
Others
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